aka my daughter hates me, aka tantrums suck, aka we’re speaking different languages. Actually, no, we’re not, because I understand “No” perfectly, I just don’t understand what she’s saying no to.
So Natalie was sick from Thursday evening until Monday. I think I posted about her throwing up all over the place Thursday. And Friday. Saturday (when the previous sweet picture was taken) I thought she was on the mend, but after Zach left Saturday she started throwing up again and I won’t even get into the blowouts. It was a NASTY stomach bug.
At any rate, Friday all she wanted was me. She wouldn’t get two steps from me, and cried “Mama!” every time I got up from her.
That ended when Zach left town. I know she’s getting over being sick, I know she’s still not at 100%, and I know taking her to the PTA program tonight wasn’t the best idea (but I needed to get her right home and didn’t want to drop her off at Mom’s then go get her as mom was having a bad memory day).
She’s been crying for nearly 45 minutes straight. I have no idea why.
I got her out of the car when we got home and she started screaming, and kicking, and hitting, and crying. I don’t know why, I wish I did. So we fought through a pamper change, teeth brushing and jamies, and she was throwing such a fit I couldn’t even read her a book before bed for all the screaming and flailing. So I just put her in her bed. And she kicked and screamed some more. In fact, she still is, she hasn’t stopped.
And she was throwing such a fit, I didn’t think she deserved to have her blankie. Maybe that was a wrong move, but it’s what I went with.
A lot of times I wonder if I’m making the right discipline choices. Zach so many times says I’m trying to discipline her like my 2nd graders but then again, he’s left me to be the disciplinarian. So obviously she prefers Daddy to Mama when it comes to things like that.
And it kills me. I hate seeing her cry, I hate putting her in time out, I hate swatting her on the butt, but I don’t want her growing up to be a brat either.
I’d like to take her blankie back in to her if she calms down…. but she’s still crying.
All I want to do is for her to know that I love her more than she could ever know. It KILLS me to have her hit, slap, bite and yell “no, no, no Mama!” as she’s pushing me away when I’m trying to hug her.
Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy my time with this sweet girl. But who can enjoy this? I’ve got two bruises on my arms where she’s bit me, it’s insane. She was such a sweet baby… what happened? Terrible twos? Lord these are terrible.
Edit:
Went in and sang “Hush Little Baby” (making up all the words after diamond ring…) and she finally calmed down, stopped crying and gave me a hug and a kiss. Then cried for blankie some more, so I sang some more and she layed down with her lovie, and her other blankie and said “night night”.
I’m so thankful she finally calmed down and is dozing off.